


Growing up in Heaven

by smarshtastic



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-19
Updated: 2012-04-19
Packaged: 2017-11-03 21:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smarshtastic/pseuds/smarshtastic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bits and pieces of Castiel's childhood in heaven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Growing up in Heaven

“Castiel,” Anael said, voice soft and soothing. The baby angel craned his neck up to look at his older sister, blue eyes wide. 

“Anna?” 

She bent down and scooped him up, a curtain of red hair enveloping Cas as she lifted him easily into her arms. Her hair smelled of something sweet and floral. He cuddled into her soft skin; Anna was his favorite sibling, and she always paid a special attention to him. She pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Let’s go to the garden,” she said and suddenly they were surrounded by lush green grass and some blooming bushes Cas had never seen before. Anna set Cas down again. Sunlight flooded the garden, making the grass warm and fragrant under Cas’s little feet. He could hear running water some distance away. 

Anna found a comfortable spot near one of the large bushes, watching Cas toddle around the garden curiously. Settling back in the grass, Anna let her wings unfurl with a quiet woosh. The pale gold feathers caught the sunlight, casting a sort of false halo around her. She reached out and touched a branch of the shrub; under her touch, a large white flower unfurled and blossomed. She stroked a finger along a velvety petal, smiling at the new bloom. 

Cas tripped and went sprawling. Anna looked up as a wail went up. She plucked the flower from the shrub and was at her little brother’s side in an instant. She pulled him into her lap, distracting him with the flower. 

“Look, Cas, look,” she cooed, smoothing his hair off his forehead with one hand. Anna held up the flower to him. “Look how pretty it is. See all the petals? And it smells so nice, too.”

Cas’s little hands came up to grasp the flower carefully, bringing it up to his nose to inhale. Anna smiled indulgently, hand still running soothingly through his messy dark hair. “Do you like it, Castiel?”

Cas craned his head back to look at his sister. He nodded. “It’s the most beautiful. Well, after you, sister,” he said shyly. Anna laughed lightly. 

“Would you like to look after these flowers, Castiel?” she asked. His blue eyes went wide. 

“Me? Really?”

Anna nodded. “You’ve done so well with the grass,” she said, running her hand over the verdant grass under their feet. “You think you can look after the shrubs too?”

Cas nodded earnestly. “Yes, sister. I’ll do my very best.”

Anna smiled benevolently. “My sweet brother. We’ll have Joshua help you learn, and then they’ll be all yours.”

Cas looked back down at the flower in his hands, eyes filled with wonder. The flower’s delicate white petals fanned out from a bud at the center, a hint of yellow peeking out between softly pointed petals. It was truly beautiful. 

“I am honored.”

***

Castiel peeked around a column, following the strange noises as they filtered down the hallway. He could pick out two distinct, familiar voices, but the noises they were making were very strange. It sounded like they were in pain, or they were fighting, or something like that. What he saw when he looked around the column did not help to clarify the situation: Lucifer and Michael were grappling with each other, their naked bodies pressed against one another, flushed and sweating, wings tangled together in a blur of color. It was unlike anything Castiel had ever seen before.

Fingers clutching the column, Castiel watched, fascinated, as his oldest brothers’ movements became more and more erratic, their cries growing more urgent. Lucifer and Michael were known to fight occasionally, but Castiel had never witnessed it himself. 

A hand yanked Castiel back. He was surprised to find his older brother Gabriel peeking around the column, hand still holding onto Cas’s shoulder. 

“Helloooo, baby angel in our midst, can’t you two find a better place to do that?” Gabriel called out to the other two archangels after a few moments. Cas heard a grumble and a small scuffle before the tell-tale woosh of feathers signaled their departure. 

“Were they fighting again?” Castiel asked. Gabriel patted his youngest brother’s head, ruffling his already messy hair some more. 

“Nah, they were making up.”

“It sounded… painful.”

Gabriel got a strange look in his eye, a sort of mischievous glint but almost more… predatory. “Painful? Only if you’re doing it wrong.”

“Making up?”

Gabriel patted Castiel’s head again, absently. “Yeah, that. Stay away from our brothers when they’re making those noises, okay?” 

Castiel blinked and nodded, and then Gabriel spread his wings and was gone.

***

“Where are you going, brother?” Castiel asked, watching Gabriel as he prepared for his journey to earth. Gabriel looked strange in his human form, his beautiful red and gold wings tucked away, making him look small and unimposing. Cas found he felt a little less self-conscious about his own messy dark wings when Gabriel’s weren’t showing. The archangel looked down at his baby brother.

“Earth. I gotta lady to see about a special announcement,” Gabriel grinned and ruffled Cas’s hair. Anna appeared behind Cas. 

“Don’t be crass, Gabriel,” she said, laying a hand on Cas’s shoulder. 

“I wasn’t being crass. I didn’t even say anything about her dubious virginal status – “

“Gabriel.”

“May I come with, brother?” Castiel asked. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Cassy. Maybe when you’re older.”

“What’s it like down there?” he asked. Cas only got occasional glances of the mortal world below, and he had a limited understanding of what really went on down there. Listening to prayers on Thursdays was fascinating, but also a frustratingly fragmentary view of the world they were supposed to be looking after. 

“Big, scary and dangerous,” Gabriel said, his eyes lighting up with something distinctly mischievous. “And sexy. Very sexy.”

“Gabriel, that’s enough,” Anna said, rolling her eyes. 

“What’s sexy?” Castiel asked, looking between his sister and his brother. Anna kissed his forehead. 

“Something Gabriel shouldn’t be indulging in.”

“Oh, come on, sis. All the other angels are doing it. Literally. Why just the other day Cas walked in on Michael and Lucy - ”

Anna plastered a strip of cloth over Gabriel’s mouth with a flick of her wrist. “Cas is still too young to go down there.”

“Will I be able to?”

“Someday,” Anna nodded. “Patience is a virtue, Castiel.”

“There’s hardly any virtue left, Anna,” Gabriel said, wincing as he peeled the strip off his face. 

“We’re angels, Gabriel.”

“I’m just saying. I wouldn’t be too sure of our virtue,” Gabriel said and then he snapped his fingers, and he was gone.

***

Anna sat with Castiel as their siblings flew through the air overhead. Castiel was supposed to be tending to the gardenia bushes blossoming around them, but he was distracted by his brothers and sisters wheeling in the sky above. His own wings twitched restlessly.

“Anna, will I be able to fly as well?” Castiel asked, tearing his eyes away from the glittering wings catching the sunlight. Anna ran her fingers over the grass beneath them. 

“Oh yes, all the angels can fly,” Anna said, smiling at her little brother. 

“Even though my wings are… different?” Castiel said, fluttering his rumpled black wings self-consciously. 

“You might just have to work a little harder, Castiel. You’re very patient, you will learn.”

“But when?” 

Anna smiled. “Perhaps we can ask your brothers for help,” she said. She flicked one of her wings at the angels above. Moments later, Balthazar and Gabriel alighted on the ground in front of Anna and Castiel. Balthazar flexed his violet wings as he landed.

“How’s the littlest angel today?” he asked, tucking his wings back. Castiel made a face at his older brothers, even as Gabriel laughed. 

“Ready to take flight, I think,” Anna said, smiling at her little brother fondly. Gabriel looked skeptical. 

“His wings don’t look ready.”

“They just need to stretch, build some muscle. He needs a good teacher,” Anna said. Gabriel and Balthazar exchanged a look. 

“Wait – “ Balthazar began. Anna rolled her eyes.

“Oh, clearly I’ve mistaken you both for someone who’s actually helpful. You can both go back to your little games now,” Anna said dismissively. Gabriel made a face at his sister. 

“Ha ha, very funny, Anna. You’re just getting sick of the runt aren’t – “

“You both are the better fliers, though you lack my love and patience for Castiel,” she interrupted. “You teach him the technical specifics, and I make sure you don’t pick on our little brother too much.”

“Also we’re more handsome,” Balthazar put in. Anna gave him a skeptical once over. 

“We can discuss that at another time, Mr. Purple Feathers.”

Balthazar ruffled his wings. “You know, some people consider violet a sign of royalty and majesty.”

“Mm, so why are your feathers purple again?”

“Why you – “

“You can’t win this one, I think, Balthy,” Gabriel interrupted. “Right, if we’re gonna do this, let’s do this.”

With a snap of the archangel’s fingers, the four angels reappeared in a broader clearing with few trees and a thick carpet of soft grass. As excited as he was to learn to fly, Castiel looked at the sparse scattering of trees nervously. He folded and refolded his wings anxiously.

“What wrong, Cas? Cold feet?” Balthazar asked, spreading his own wings so they caught the light, revealing the deep purple hues of even the shortest feathers. Gabriel’s wings were out too – stretched out, red and gold and ridiculously impressive. On top of all the apprehension Castiel was feeling, he now had an added layer of self-consciousness; his rumpled black wings were nowhere near as beautiful as his siblings’. 

Anna squeezed her little brother’s shoulder in that reassuring way that she knew Cas liked. Her own pale gold wings were unfurled, but she wasn’t showing off like her brothers. “Don’t worry, Castiel. We’ll make sure you won’t get hurt,” she promised, throwing a pointed look at her brothers. Cas took a deep breath and nodded, finally letting his own wings unfold fully. 

“You really are the littlest angel, aren’t you?” Balthazar commented. 

“Hush,” Anna chided. “Size doesn’t matter.”

Gabriel sniggered, but was silenced by another look from Anna. “You of all people would know, Gabriel,” she said. Gabriel made a face at her. Anna ignored her brother and looked at Cas. “Bend your knees, it makes it easier.”

“That’s what she – “ Gabriel started, but Anna clipped him neatly with one wing as she launched herself into the air. Gabriel fell backwards with an undignified squawk. Balthazar laughed and launched himself into the air after his sister, wheeling around her gracefully. 

Castiel attempted to imitate their motions, bending his knees and pushing off the ground, only to fall flat on his face immediately. Gabriel picked himself up off the ground. “It helps to actually move your wings too, bro,” Gabriel said, beating his wings for effect before shooting up off the ground and high into the clouds above. 

“Well nobody told me,” Castiel huffed. Anna came down to hover next to him. 

“Try again,” she said, brushing some dirt off Cas’s shoulder. 

“Yes, please actually beat off this time,” Balthazar quipped, hovering upside nearby. Gabriel laughed somewhere high above them. 

“That’ll be the day!” 

Castiel looked at his sister quizzically. “They’re being crass again, it’s the only thing they know how to do.” 

“Oh, but we do it so well,” Gabriel said, giving them a lewd wink. 

“Not nearly as well as Michael and Lucifer,” Anna said. 

Balthazar rolled his eyes. “They’re just loudest.”

“Loud does not connote better,” Gabriel nodded. 

“I don’t know, Gabriel, I don’t hear anyone shouting your name,” Anna said pointedly. Balthazar laughed. 

“Not even the little mud creatures.”

Anna turned her attention back to Cas while Gabriel and Balthazar wrestled in mid-air. “Bend your knees to push off, and push your wings back as you do. You need to get enough air under them – “ her toes touched the ground and then she demonstrated by pushing off into the air again. 

Castiel’s brow furrowed in concentration, trying to imitate his sister’s movements, and for one glorious moment he was airborne, until a tangled pile of brothers crashed into him and sent him falling to the ground once more. He had a mouthful of purple and red-gold feathers, and a distinctly sour face. Balthazar ruffled Cas’s hair before taking off without a backwards glance. Anna blocked Gabriel’s own launch. 

“Slow, so Cas can see,” she said. Gabriel whined. 

“It’s boring that way.”

Anna gave him another look which proved to be effective as Gabriel slowed down, exaggerating his movements as he sprang into the air. Castiel tried again, and managed to get himself aloft, but staying airborne was far more difficult than he had imagined. 

“You have wings, use them!” Balthazar said, cruising by. 

“Why don’t you show me then,” Cas retorted irritably. 

“Ooh, snippy!” Gabriel laughed. Anna cut him off with another well placed wing to the back of the head. 

That was mostly how his first flying lesson went: Castiel’s two brothers making snide comments, mostly at Cas’s expense, with Anna defending him and being wonderfully reassuring. It was exhausting learning the muscle movements, and he fell several times, though not far enough to do any real damage. He had some bruises, and lost some feathers, and he’d probably be aching for a while, but Anna was smiling. 

“You did well, Castiel,” she said, pride coming through her voice. 

“For a runt,” Balthazar added. Gabriel laughed. 

“We’ll get you flying for real one of these days,” the archangel said, ruffling Cas’s hair. The young angel was too tired to make a face back at his brothers, who disappeared in a rush of feathers.

***

Confusingly, Anna left Castiel in Gabriel’s care when she was sent to Earth on a mission. For a long time, Gabriel and Castiel just stared at each other, neither one really knowing what to do with the other. Gabriel was reminded of meeting Cas for the first time, right after his creation, and all the other angels crowded around to see the newest member of their family. Cas was looking up at his brother now, expression expectant.

“What… what do you want, exactly?” Gabriel asked. Cas blinked. 

“Anna usually teaches me something. Or we go flying. Or tend gardens with Joshua.”

“…How you have not Fallen due to pure boredom is beyond me,” Gabriel said after a moment. He stretched his wings. “Okay, come on kiddo. We’re going to have some fun.”

“I like tending the shrubs,” Castiel said, confusion reading all over his face. 

“Look, I’m glad you do and all, but there are much more fun things to do around here than look after bushes.”

It turned out those things were playing pranks on Uriel, who did not find them fun or funny. Anna returned to heaven to find Castiel looking horrified and Gabriel still roaring with laughter. 

“What did you do?” Anna asked, looking between her brothers. 

“Gabriel said that we were working on Uriel’s sense of humor,” Castiel said, eyes round. “I don’t think he found it very funny, sister.”

Anna swooped and tackled her older brother and they disappeared in a puff of feathers. Castiel thought he heard Gabriel howl as they went. 

The next time Anna left Castiel with Gabriel, she gave him very specific instructions to teach Castiel some of the more complicated Enochian spells. Gabriel taught Castiel some of the more colorful swearwords instead, and then took Cas to try them out on Metatron.

Needless to say, that didn’t end terribly well either.

***

Balthazar and Gabriel taught him many things in their own roundabout way, though their attention span often wore thin before Castiel had had enough. They mostly liked to pick on their younger brother anyway. Occasionally, Gabriel had moments of surprising tenderness, though they were unpredictable, especially now that Anna hardly left Gabriel alone with Castiel after the whole Metatron debacle. Michael was possibly the least patient of them all, and Castiel only saw him but rarely.

This was one of those rare occasions where Michael bothered to pay attention to his youngest brother: Castiel was going to learn how to fight. 

He was nervous. Michael was an imposing angel, his wings a fiery orange-red, the biggest wingspan in heaven (though Lucifer’s iridescent wings were a close rival). Michael was powerful, Michael was strong, and, frankly, a little scary. His temper was unpredictable – Michael was either fighting or making up with Lucifer, though Castiel still had a hard time figuring out which was which. Castiel didn’t stand a chance against the older archangel. 

The archangel and Castiel stood in the middle of a strange sort of hallway, vast and echoing. Castiel noted that the ground did not look soft. He swallowed as he looked up at his brother. Michael pulled a long silver blade seemingly from nowhere. “This,” he said, running his hand over the shaft of the blade. “This is the only thing that can kill an angel. Only angels can kill other angels, Castiel. And it is a grave sin to do so.”

“Then… why do I have to learn?” Castiel asked tentatively, watching the blade catch the light and sparkle in a way that could only be described as sinister. 

“We must always be prepared,” Michael said, but there was a slight glint in his eye that hinted he knew more than he was letting on.

“Do I get a blade?”

Michael’s blade disappeared. “No. Not yet. You have to learn, first.”

It was, in a word, humiliating. Michael was too fast, and Castiel had no idea what he was doing. In mere moments, Michael had Castiel face down on the ground, his wings pinned painfully under the older angel’s knees. When this happened a few more times, Castiel wondered if it wasn’t so much lessons as an excuse for Michael to pick on him. He said as much to Anna later when he stumbled back into his favorite garden to rest among the gardenias. 

“We are angels of the Lord, Castiel,” Anna reminded him, fingers stroking through his hair as his head rested in her lap. “Soldiers of God. We must know how to fight in His name.” There was something in the way that she said it, though, that didn’t sit well with the young angel. 

“I wish you would teach me,” Cas grumbled. Anna laughed softly. 

“It’s not my place. Michael is the best warrior, you’d do well to learn from him.”

“I’d rather just tend to the gardenias,” Cas sighed. Anna made a little noise, turning her attention back to the greenery around him. 

The next few “lessons” had more of an audience – even Zachariah turned up to watch Michael pummel their youngest brother. Michael’s movements were completely unpredictable, and all Cas did was get more and more frustrated. 

At one point, Balthazar took pity on Castiel and took him aside to teach him a few of his favorite tricks. Castiel was still slow and clumsy, but the more direct teaching approach helped. Gabriel found the whole thing incredibly amusing. 

“You have to duck AND roll, Cassy,” the archangel said, suppressing a laugh as Cas nearly got a purple wing in the face. 

“I’m trying!”

“Try harder.”

Castiel lunged at Gabriel, who pinned him easily. “Channel that frustration, Castiel. Don’t let it get the better of you.”

The next time Castiel went up against Michael, he managed to get two blows in before Michael pinned him to the ground. Castiel detected a brightness in the archangel’s eyes that might have been a spark of pride.

***

Castiel was most certainly the most patient angel in heaven. Joshua praised his patience in looking after the grasses and shrubs, and Anna praised his patience as he worked hard to fly. His determination to learn the art of battle even earned him the respect of Michael (Castiel assumed – Michael never said anything directly that confirmed that suspicion). He learned everything he could, he never shirked his duties, and he waited. He waited for thousands of years for his purpose to be unveiled.

But when he finally learned his purpose, things were different. Anna was not there as she should have been. Lucifer was in Hell. Heaven was in turmoil – so many of their brothers and sisters had been lost; it was no longer the idyllic paradise that Castiel had known for thousands of years. 

They were going to lay siege to Hell, and Castiel was to pull a righteous man out of the pit. This was his purpose; this man, this broken shell of a human man. Dean Winchester. 

Castiel didn’t know that this man would be the most ungrateful pain in the ass who ever tried his patience, even worse than his brothers and sisters. And he didn’t know that he would love this man even more completely than he ever loved his Father. He would Fall for this man, he would die for this man, and he wouldn’t regret a single moment of it.


End file.
